Saturday, June 30, 2012

Rude Tales and Glorious Review (TRIGGER WARNING!)

Title: Rude Tales and Glorious
Author: Nicholas Seare aka Trevanian aka Rodney William Whitaker whose other aliases include BeƱat Le Cagot and Edoard Moran.
Illustrator: William Bramhall
Publisher: Clarkson N. Potter, Inc.
Pages: 207
Synopsis: (from the publisher) Picture a wintry night in a remote corner of Wales-- sleet and rain lashing the great stones of the castle of Dolbadarn.  Within, imagine a baron sitting comfortably before a roaring fire with his wife, his fulsome daughter and their guest, the new clerick.  But the Baron is restless.  the clerick is a dull fellow, good only for 'confessing' the women in the upper chambers.  What the Baron yearns for are stories.  When a scurvy beggar and an ancient hag gain entrance claiming that they are in truth Sir Lancelot and the Fair Elaine, the Baron is only too glad to listen.  Fortified by good food and drink, Sir Lancelot begins telling the tales of Sir Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table as they "really happened."

We meet the Knights milling about trying to decide how to choose their King.  Merlin, a bearded, sly old man with a magic act, announces that the matter will be settled by a contest called the Sword and the Stone.  He contrives for his assistant, Arthur, to win not only the adorable Gwen, known for her generosity in granting her favors far and wide.  We meet Sir Gay and Sir Gervais, each blinded by the beauty of the other, and the Black and Red Knights-- will they ever find out what the grail is?  We meet the marvelous Percival and his "flaw", a physical distinction "like the clapper of a great bell", and we follow his travels that, despite his affliction, finally earn him his place at the Round Table.  What brave deeds were done by these honorable fellows!

These wonderful tales and more, so different from the ones in our history books, were penned in the fourteenth century by a forebear of the author, Nicholas Seare, who clearly has a sense of the ribald and satiric.  Seare has at least seen fit to share them with us all.  Medievalists will be edified, the general reader, amused and delighted.

Nicholas Seare*, author of 1339 or So is a Welsh literature scholar.  Reclusive in the extreme, little is know of his history or current activities.  He lives in Caernarvonshire, Wales.

* Nicholas Seare is actually the second pen name of a well-known author.

I really, really hate it when the summary screws stuff up.  If you're going to go that detailed into what the book is about, maybe you, publishers, could actually put in some effort into making sure that information is correct.  Of course, doing that probably requires reading the book and I understand why any sane person would give up halfway.

So, I've gotta put the trigger warning for discussions of rape and sexual assault up here before the review even starts.  The book basically reads like a badly told rape joke.  So, there's going to be a lot of ripping into talk about Nicholas Seare Trevanian Rodney William Whitaker's handling of that subject matter.

You people are just lucky I'm doing this review alone.  I almost invited Waldorf and Statler to come back and help me out.  The only reason I was able to get through this book was by imaging them dryly yelling "Funny, Funny, Funny," every time Seare Trevanian Whitaker used sexual assault as a punchline.

Warning for Spoilers and Trigger Warning for Discussions of Rape and Sexual Assault

Monday, June 18, 2012

SamoaPhoenix Guest Review: Knights of the Round Table: Gawain

SamoaPhoenix sent me this review way back in April but due to personal things happening at the time, I had to put care and maintenance of Camelot's Library on hold while I got my head on straight.  That took a lot longer than I thought it would, but with the Muppet King Arthur review, this guest reivew and hopefully another review this weekend of a truly awful book, I think I'm back!

~Storyteller Knight
Title: Knights of the Round Table: Gawain
Author: Gwen Rowley
Publisher: Jove
Pages: 320
Synopsis: (from the publisher) Sir Gawain is a knight as good as his word. Fiercely loyal to Arthur, he will do anything to serve his king. So when a hideous crone promises to give Arthur the answer to a riddle that will save his life in exchange for Gawain’s pledge to marry her, the knight does not hesitate.

But the loathly lady is not who she appears to be. In truth, she is the lovely Aislyn, former apprentice to a sorceress. She was once desperately in love with Gawain, who rejected her because of her magic—or so she believes. Now she has transformed herself so she may exact her revenge.

Yet Gawain’s gallantry and courteous treatment soften Aislyn’s bitter heart, and she is horrified to discover she has actually been enchanted. Only a kiss given with love can break the spell and restore her to the beautiful maiden she truly is…

I interrupted myself in the Paths to Camelot series to read yet another Gawain book. This one seemed like a good Spring Break choice as it is a bit more lighthearted than Paths to Camelot and lighter physically as well. The cover is, well…it’s a romance cover, let’s be honest. At least it’s obvious the cover designer read the book—they got that Gawain is really tall and the hair colors of Aislyn and Gawain are just about right. I don’t plan to read the other two books in the series.

Warning for Spoilers

Muppet King Arthur Chapter Two Review


Title: Muppet King Arthur, Chapter Two
Written By: Paul Benjamin and Patrick Storck
Artist: James Silvani
Colors: Eric Cobain
Letterer: Deron Bennett
Assistant Editor: Jason Long
Editor: Aaron Sparrow
Designer: Erika Terriquez
Cover: David Petersen
Publisher: Boom Kids!
Pages: 22
Synopsis: (from the publisher trade) A Tale of Chivalry, adventure, chickens, and magic!  The tale of King Arthur has been told many times over the centuries, but never before has it included robots, knock-knock jokes, and boomerang fish!  The Muppets bring you this beloved classic in their signature style, adding twists and turns to the quest for the Holy Grail that would make a sane driver pull over and ask for directions!  Will the Frog King save his beloved England from the curmudgeonly Sam of Eagle?  Will the Lady of the Lake get back on the festival circuit?  Will they find a carpenter capable of making a round table?  Find out in MUPPET KING ARTHUR!

Been a while, hasn't it?  You know the drill-- it's Muppets, so everything goes out the window.

Warning For Spoilers and General Silliness